So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
