I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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