so explain again why im purple
no
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
