Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
