nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
