um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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