In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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