Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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