the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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