He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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