You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
