Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
