all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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