Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
