I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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