even my farts smell like vagina
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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