Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
