you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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