There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I looked at my own cervix.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
my liver is dry heaving
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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