dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize