Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
