Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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