The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize