You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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