Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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