butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize