It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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