and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
