That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
