so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
