You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
