I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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