i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
