Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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