Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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