Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
