guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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