Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
