Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
