Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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