I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize