Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
