I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
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