I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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