It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
