Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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