At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize