I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
