i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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