hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
