so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the day after is always just damage control
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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