Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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