It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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