I don't think brook has ever known best
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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