WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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