I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
