Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
two words...techno handjob
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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