I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
