half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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