I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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