Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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