gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
