This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
