i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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