There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
