i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
