dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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