Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
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