Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
