this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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