i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
