She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
